Political analysis
Switching Teams: I Want To Be A Progressive
- By Nancy Morgan
- January 18, 2008
I am a practicing Christian, but lately I’ve been giving serious thought to becoming a secular progressive. The advantages of adopting this popular mindset are becoming more attractive every day.
Consider: As a Christian, one does the right thing, even when no one is looking. As a progressive, I can get public recognition, peer approval and moral points for my intentions. No need to actually do any heavy lifting. Very cool.
As a secular progressive I won’t have to worry about guilt or wrestle with moral dilemmas. I can now cheat on my mate and remain guilt free by merely purchasing credits from CheatNeutral. I don’t have to worry about recycling, polluting the earth or being an energy hog – I’ll just buy some offsetting ‘carbon credits’ from Al Gore’s firm. If I decide to have a baby out of wedlock, I’ll gain sympathy and government assistance instead of shame. There’s also a possibility Nickelodeon will do a ‘pregnancy special’, just like Jamie Lynn Spears.
Progressives have a very, well, progressive way of dealing with the messy issue of sin and guilt. My favorite is a very public apology (multiple times…depending on severity of offense) followed by a month in rehab to demonstrate sincerity. This route has the added advantage of accruing extra points for ‘courage’ and ‘insight’, to say nothing of media face time. Now, I am cleansed and free to sin again. Progressives are nothing if not forgiving. (Unless you’re a white Christian male.)
There’s something very exhilarating about disregarding all the old traditional rules, especially when you can invent your own new ones. Progressives call this ‘empowerment’, which means indulging one’s own feelings, not being bound by tradition, and defining your own reality. As a member of the Me generation, this is particularly appealing. If it feels good, do it. No more need to consider others, unless they’re in an approved victim class. Like Palestinians, Guantanamo inmates or blacks, or women, or transvestites, or…well, you get the idea.
Another good reason to become a secular progressive is their absolute reliance on feelings over facts. Facts can be messy and at times, embarrassing. Feelings, especially my own, can now be the defining parameter of my worth. I feel, therefore I am. Whatever I feel is automatically valid and if anyone dares challenge me, they are deemed judgmental. How cool is that?
For all the advantages gained by becoming progressive, there are a few rules. I have to be very careful to never say the ‘n’ word, or the ‘c’ word, or the ‘d’ word. (Hugging blacks in public is not a rule per say, it’s just highly recommended.) I must consider taxes as investments in the greater good and I must agree that all cultures are morally equal. I also have to acknowledge that there is absolutely no difference between men and women, that America is the cause of all the world’s ills, that capitalism is evil and that government knows best. Oh, I also have to demonize the rich, pretend Hillary isn’t the face of socialism and act like everyone is a racist. Small price, eh?
Tomorrow, I’m going to call Meals On Wheels and tell them I’m not going to volunteer there anymore. Instead, as a progressive, I will do my bit for my fellow man by joining with millions of others in World Orgasm For Peace day. Whoever thought sacrifice could be so much fun!
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Yawn. More racism, sexism, religious intolerance painted up to be a valid CHRISTIAN, AMERICAN stance. Thanks for the ruined economy, the failed wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and specifically the semi-retard you helped elect President. You can’t blame “al-kayda” and liberals for your “conservative” mess, but keep it up with the junior high school name calling and we’ll really get something done.
For eight years you people have had a carte blanche to rule the world as you see fit, including a gutless set of Democrats in Congress, rubber stamping everything you wanted.
You blew it. You have failed at EVERYTHING you tried.
Are you REALLY better off than you were 9 years ago?
Is my beloved country, the one I bled for, the one I would have died for, better off? Really?
All the best to you. Be sure to register at the your local Fusion Center. Your “conservative values” don’t make you exempt from the watchful eye of the Homeland Security Office. Read the “Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007.” and see where you fit in, because you do.
Conservative values, indeed.
216 days ago by scumby
Your reaction is typical of the left – you merely pointed out how bad the right is instead of defending or discussing the points made in the article.
215 days ago by Nancy Morgan
I am a practicing Christian, but lately I’ve been giving serious thought to becoming a secular progressive. The advantages of adopting this popular mindset are becoming more attractive every day.
Consider: As a Christian, one does the right thing, even when no one is looking. As a progressive, I can get public recognition, peer approval and moral points for my intentions. No need to actually do any heavy lifting. Very cool.
Specious at best. By what method have you deduced this morsel of generality? I know lots of folks, conservative, not conservative, Christian, Jewish, atheist that all do good works and “the right thing” without anyone looking and they don’t have to brag about in an “article” either.
As a secular progressive I won’t have to worry about guilt or wrestle with moral dilemmas. I can now cheat on my mate and remain guilt free by merely purchasing credits from CheatNeutral. I don’t have to worry about recycling, polluting the earth or being an energy hog – I’ll just buy some offsetting ‘carbon credits’ from Al Gore’s firm. If I decide to have a baby out of wedlock, I’ll gain sympathy and government assistance instead of shame. There’s also a possibility Nickelodeon will do a ‘pregnancy special’, just like Jamie Lynn Spears.
Another specious argument – looks good at first, rotten to the core underneath.
Yeah, Rudy Giulliani, Fred Thompson, that moron who ran that megachurch all cheated on their wives, and so did Bill Clinton. So what? Half the marriages in this country end in divorce. Conservative “Christian” Liberal “Progressive,” men all a bunch of dogs when you get right down to it. Stop making distinctions to stay self righteous when none exist, just to argue your moral superiority.
Ah, let’s see, you have carbon credits, children out of wedlock, and Jamie Lynn Spears in the same paragraph. Bait and switch. What do you want to teach us?
Carbon credits might be a good idea. So far it’s the only idea posited by any politician/ex politician to address the carbon problem. I wish someone else would come up with a more reasonable approach, but the current administration and the Democratically controlled Congress are mostly mute. Too bad no one REALLY takes it seriously.
I suppose we could make out of wedlock mothers live on 675 dollars a month plus a 125 dollars a month in food stamps as punishment for not using birth control.
Wait. We already do!
Maybe if they HAD been trained in the use of birth control they wouldn’t be living it up on the government dollar……but that would only encourage them. So, it’s abstinence only, or the result needs to be punished. Right after we save the unborn, we punish them and their whore mothers. Christian indeed.
Jamie Lynn Spears is a product of the obsession we have with train wrecks in this country. I bet we have another dead bloated “starlet” like Anna Nicole Smith pretty soon, what with Brittney going crazy and all. Poor white southern “Christian” conservative trash, the bunch. Glad to see that culture working out for y’all.
Progressives have a very, well, progressive way of dealing with the messy issue of sin and guilt. My favorite is a very public apology (multiple times…depending on severity of offense) followed by a month in rehab to demonstrate sincerity. This route has the added advantage of accruing extra points for ‘courage’ and ‘insight’, to say nothing of media face time. Now, I am cleansed and free to sin again. Progressives are nothing if not forgiving. (Unless you’re a white Christian male.)
Ted Haggart did the same scummy thing. Gay prostitutes and chrystal meth. Jesus. So did Larry Craig….. Sex in a men’s room. yuck. Odd how these “Christian” apologists for really disgusting behavior are below your radar. Blame the progressives if you want to, but it don’t wash the sin out of your own ilk.
There’s something very exhilarating about disregarding all the old traditional rules, especially when you can invent your own new ones. Progressives call this ‘empowerment’, which means indulging one’s own feelings, not being bound by tradition, and defining your own reality. As a member of the Me generation, this is particularly appealing. If it feels good, do it. No more need to consider others, unless they’re in an approved victim class. Like Palestinians, Guantanamo inmates or blacks, or women, or transvestites, or…well, you get the idea.
More bait and switch. Empowerment, Boomers (me generation) Victim classes (political correctness…) Nice rant, but I know a LOT of “progressives” or liberals who don’t think or act like that and don’t think there is any such thing as a victim class.
This portion of your article is right out of what Rush and Bill use to pay the rent. Here is a little tip: these two idiots are ENTERTAINERS, not intellectual giants, teachers or even average citizens. They are rich blowhards who need to slime a good portion of the population so their fearful listeners can have someone to blame for their failings: Liberals. Used to be blacks, Jews and Communists, now it’s Liberals. Substitute any of these names for Liberal in their rants and they sound like the American Nazi Party of 1954. See?
Another good reason to become a secular progressive is their absolute reliance on feelings over facts. Facts can be messy and at times, embarrassing. Feelings, especially my own, can now be the defining parameter of my worth. I feel, therefore I am. Whatever I feel is automatically valid and if anyone dares challenge me, they are deemed judgmental. How cool is that?
That is really beneath the rest of the writing here. I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Really. It seems that having feelings is a bad thing, now? I’m crushed.
For all the advantages gained by becoming progressive, there are a few rules. I have to be very careful to never say the ‘n’ word, or the ‘c’ word, or the ‘d’ word. (Hugging blacks in public is not a rule per say, it’s just highly recommended.) I must consider taxes as investments in the greater good and I must agree that all cultures are morally equal. I also have to acknowledge that there is absolutely no difference between men and women, that America is the cause of all the world’s ills, that capitalism is evil and that government knows best. Oh, I also have to demonize the rich, pretend Hillary isn’t the face of socialism and act like everyone is a racist. Small price, eh?
So, if I call you a c#nt, that’s alright with you? Weird. My wife LOVES John Mcain but if you called HER a c#nt, she’d kick your ass. Real quick.
Re: Hillary and socialism. Right outta Rush. You neither understand what socialism OR Hillary Clinton are all about.
Hillary is a tool of the same corporate special interests that ran her husbands administration, and that now run the Bushie white house. They are ALL bought and paid for like a bunch of k-street whores.
Men and women aren’t the same, anyone who has run a marathon can tell you that. Equal pay for equal work is a grand idea, though. If you really believe that what you imply, why aren’t you letting us men do the mens work and stay at home next to the stove all knocked up, just like the Promise Keepers want you to?RE: Taxes as investments. Those investments in public education worked out quite well for me, but they might not be there for my granchildren. Maybe they can compete with the Japanese and Chinese with a tax rebate, or a little faith-based initiative. I would pay twice the taxes I pay now for an aggressive math/science program in middle schools.
Tomorrow, I’m going to call Meals On Wheels and tell them I’m not going to volunteer there anymore. Instead, as a progressive, I will do my bit for my fellow man by joining with millions of others in World Orgasm For Peace day. Whoever thought sacrifice could be so much fun!
More bragging about what a great compassionate conservative you are. Orgasm for peace day might not be a bad idea. Better than shopping so the ter’rists don’t win.
On me being “Liberal.”
I am a gun-owning-second-amendment freak, a free speech radical, and I believe any immigrant living in this country needs to be a LEGAL one, NO AMNESTY. I welcome immigrants, but they had better learn English, RIGHT NOW!I am a Vietnam Veteran. I volunteered to go. I offered my services after 9/11 to go to Afghanistan but alas, I am too old. I offered to go anyway. But not to Iraq. Bush lied about it, and in doing so, he might have bankrupted MY country. He and his “Christian Conservatives” have made such a mess of his entire eight years in DC we might not EVER recover. He can go fight it himself
I don’t listen to anyone in the Media. Not Rush or O’reilly or the white house press secretary or Imus or Janine Garaffalo (sp?). Don’t give a crap about what television stars have to say. I’ll make up my own mind. I’ll do a little reading.
Maybe you should, too.
who would Jesus torture?
215 days ago by scumby