Political analysis
BREAKING NEWS: Daghbad Orphange Tragedy
- By Chronically Pissed
- September 10, 2006
Details are emerging about a horrific tragedy that has recently unfolded in the village of Abaria, just across the Canadian border from Belcourt, ND. A large orphanage there lies in ruins after North Dakotan authorities crossed the border to mount a raid on the facility.
Residents of North Dakota, have long known that the proprietor of the Daghbad Orphanage, Shane Madussi, along with his fellow administrators, have been abusing their young charges, both physically and sexually, but have been powerless to do anything about it – until North Dakota’s lieutenant governor, K. “Chic” Deney received top secret information that a legion of giant robots was being built in the basement of Daghbad and that Shane Madussi was planning to use this army of robotic soldiers to seize and annex the entire state of North Dakota.
Upon receiving this information from his second-in-command, Governor Greg Shubeo called up all active members of North Dakota’s police force and National Guard and ordered an attack on the facility. An intense standoff ensued in which the orphanage was burned to the ground. 175 of the institution’s 350 orphans were killed either in the fire or in the erratic gun battle that erupted between law enforcement and orphanage staff.
It is believed that many of the children who survived were swept off the streets by other pedophiles who escaped from a maximum security prison on the U.S. side of the border after being left unattended by state personnel who were called in to assist in the initial raid.
As it turns out, the orphanage did not have a basement, but the governor continues to assert that Daghbad had been a dire threat to his state’s security. “We know that Shane really liked that one Star Wars movie where the giant robots were, like, trudging through the snow and…uh, shootin’ stuff.”
Shane Madussi and several of his henchmen were rounded up within a week of the raid, giving the governor and lieutenant governor some degree of protection from their detractors, but when asked about the faulty information about the robots, K. “Chic” Deney had this to say:
“Canada and North Dakota are better, safer places now that Shane Madussi is no longer operating an orphanage. Certainly we can be sure that at least 175 fewer children are being molested and beaten.”
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I had to read this twice to get it, but damn funny the second time around! IMPEACH BUSH!
800 days ago by Roach