Political analysis
An Open Letter To The Obamaniacs
- By Chronically Pissed
- February 05, 2008
Dear Obamaniacs:
I am one of you. I’ve donated the little I can afford to Barack. I’ve got the bumper sticker on my car, the buttons on my backpack, and I’m waiting for the back-ordered yard signs. I buy into the notion that what America needs right now may be more psychological in nature than practical. After eight years of incompetence, its enough for me to know that an Obama administration would inevitably contain highly intelligent, highly qualified officials who would easily compensate for the whatever lack of experience people might have concerns about.
I can think of no better way to restore America’s image in the world – to project the fact that we are not the belligerent cowboy nation we’ve appeared to be for the last seven years; that we are, in fact, an exemplar of progress and freedom in the world – than to elect a person who not only doesn’t look like all our past presidents, but who embodies, physically and emotionally, the melting pot that America was created to be.
I understand the desire to transcend the partisan political system and I like to think that it’s possible. I am sick of feeling angry and impotent about the future of my country. I see in Barack Obama the promise of a better tomorrow. I see in Barack Obama the potential to end the stagnation that has befallen race relations in our country since the great strides of the 60’s. I see in Barack Obama the possibility of bridging the gap between the old and young in a world that is moving too fast for both.
Mind you, I see these things not so much because of anything he has said, but rather because of his value as a symbol. In fact, what he says sounds remarkably similar to what John Edwards and Hillary Clinton have also been saying. Truth be told, I can’t find any substantive policy distinctions between the two remaining candidates. (Before you protesteth too much about the war authorization vote, since that is the trendy thing to do among Obama supporters, let me say this: It was much easier to take a stand on the Iraq war authorization from the floor of the Illinois state legislature than it was on the floor of the U.S. Senate. Senators stood to lose their jobs for voting against the bill, which was guaranteed to pass and which enjoyed tremendous support from the American electorate. A principled stand by Hillary and many of her colleagues could very well have left us with a much more lopsided Congress. These kinds of votes happen every day. People are forgetting that the real clusterfuck was the execution of the war. Hillary’s vote was almost meaningless – except that it may well have saved us from longer Republican reign in the Congress.) And so, we are essentially left with a clash of personalities that will necessarily result in the selection of ONE candidate. One DEMOCRATIC candidate who will have to fight many of the same fights that Al Gore and John Kerry had to fight, against a party that is more ruthless than ours in its determination to take and maintain power at all costs.
This is why I must ask you – beg you – to remain in possession of the advanced sense of perspective that typically characterizes progressive Democrats. The enthusiasm surrounding Barack is rapidly turning into the kind of hysteria that is going to lose us another election by sabotaging our other candidate. When I hear loyal liberals saying ridiculous things like “If the election is between Hillary and McCain, I’ll have to consider voting for McCain,” I know that I’m no longer dealing with rational operators. At that point, it’s like dealing with a woman who has fallen madly in love with a man she can’t have and so would rather go back to her abusive, alcoholic ex-husband than get fixed up with the sweet, gainfully-employed next-door-neighbor. I know your threats are idle ones, kind of like when your wife threatens to leave you every time you fuck another woman, but you know she won’t because you’re the best thing that ever happened to her and she couldn’t possibly do any better now that she’s had a couple of kids and a few too many Ho-Ho’s. Still, they worry me because they engender an atmosphere that will hurt us in the fall. You’re being pre-emptive sore losers and forgetting that we will need all the energy and enthusiasm we can muster to prevent another war-mongering conservative administration, even if your favorite candidate in the history of the world loses.
I know you think the Clintons are playing rough. I just don’t care. Politicians will be politicians. Unilateral disarmament by Obama is not going to change 200+ years of partisan politics. Does anyone think the republicans and their constituents are going to suddenly roll over and decide to let this guy “transcend” the most polarizing issues of the day just because he’s Barack Obama? Your anecdotal stories about Republican friends who are thinking about voting for Obama are meaningless because I guarantee you those people will be back on the ranch within seconds of the nominating conventions. If you think the Clintons are playing rough, just wait until the Republicans start exploiting Barack’s name and non-whiteness to insinuate that he was the 20th hijacker. (I actually know a handful of people who believed the notorious, insidious email claiming that he is a secret Muslim who was sworn in on the Qu’ran and refuses to say the Pledge of Allegiance.)
If Barack gets the nomination, I will be extraordinarily grateful to the Clintons for roughing him up a bit (and I wouldn’t put it past Bill to have known that the kid needed it, just in case Hillary lost). If he loses the nomination, I think it will be pretty hard to argue that he could have withstood a brutal general election against a “straight-talking” POW. If he loses, we won’t have time for you to mope around all heartbroken for three months while John McCain begins the ritualistic crucifixion of our nominee. Every time you find yourself shrugging off the distinctions between John McCain and Hillary Clinton – the way people did when Bush and Gore were the nominees – I want you to reflect upon the ways in which the world might be different if we’d been motivated enough to elect Gore in a landslide almost eight long years ago.
I hope Barack wins the nomination, but my desire to reclaim the white house supercedes here. If Hillary really were the devil she-bitch that the right wing portrays her as, perhaps I would reconsider my position – but she’s not. Yes, she is a consummate politician, but she has also been fighting for liberal causes for most of her adult life. You may think that her ambition makes her morally bankrupt, to which I can only say: I would rather win with a morally bankrupt, pro-gay rights, pro-choice, anti-bush tax cuts, pro-withdrawal from Iraq, pro-universal health care DEMOCRAT than lose with a high-minded, pro-gay rights, pro-choice, anti-bush tax cuts, pro-withdrawal from Iraq, pro-universal health care DEMOCRAT. I was a fervent Joe Biden fan, myself. I still think he was clearly the most qualified nominee, but guess what – he’s out of the running. Too bad for me. Next, please…
If the Democrats lose in 2008, we will have only ourselves to blame – not the nominee (as John Kerry is often farcically blamed for losing in 2004). At this point, we should be able to win with a drunken, violent, illiterate monkey. They did…twice. Please don’t let it happen again. Donate to Barack, knock on doors for Barack, make phone calls for Barack, suck on Barack’s [undoubtedly enormous] dick. Do everything in your power to get him the nomination. Then, suck it up and support the Democratic nominee, regardless of who it is, with the same vigor and resolve. Don’t be stupid.
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What an exciting day it is! This is OBAMA’s day! This is America’s day! It’s time for change and we’ve found the guy who can bring it. We will prevail, don’ you worry Mr. Pissed Off.
Go Barack!
198 days ago by Big Fat Tuesday!
Barack Hussein Obama studied in a Radical Muslim school. He cannot forget that fact. We also know he has the American “hate” vote. What a way to vote for a man to run a country. With HATE!
198 days ago by Jake
I cannot believe this. Here we go again, someone trying to pull the wool over the democrat’s eyes by writing an anonymous open letter with opinions that don’t make any sense. I believe that Barack and his supporters like The Lion of Massachussetts are aware of the political dirty work that the Republicans are going to throw. It is my belief that this open letter was not written by a Democrat, and if you believe it is, you are already starting to lose what it means to stand behind the best person for the Presidency of the United States. If you think the Republicans are going to go after Barack, wait until you see how they try and dismantle the Clinton political agenda. I think we need to remember what Senator Obama is putting forth, the chance to reach out with foreign policy, not push through, the chance to reach across the aisle and not have fingers crossed behind our backs, a chance for a fresh face, one that does not have decades of partisan politics behind it, to unite this government to work for the people!
188 days ago by Oh Come On Now